When you experience a loss, you have to deal with a new landscape in your life and a huge adjustment is needed to this loss. The death may have happened suddenly without any preparation, or it may have been slowly building up in its inevitability. You may wonder how you can get yourself back to normal – whatever your normal was. Life as you know it has been transformed and it requires adjustment to this new reality.

Life changes to a different normal as you manage the emotions you are experiencing. Pain is present, as well as anger and distress. You often do not know what action to take to ease the situation you are in. There is a sense of confusion present. It takes time to adjust and to find a new path forward through the changes in your life. There is no quick fix and you can only progress at a pace which your mind and body can cope with. We are all different.

Eventually to achieve peace of mind you have to try to accept the reality, even though you may hate or resent it. It takes time to accept the changed landscape of your life, especially as these changes are not of your choosing. it is a case of trying to use your strong emotions to see how they can be channelled into something which is more positive.

Can you think of a way of turning your deep sorrow, pain and distress into something more positive which may through time help others so that they may be better prepared to accept the loss of a dear one? Energy may be channelled into fund-raising or sharing your experiences with others who are bereaved to help both you and them to process the deep feelings you all share.