In the early days of grieving, grief comes at you in large waves which overwhelm and swallow you up. Feelings are raw, but there can be quieter periods of respite between these waves. Gradually with time and healing the waves become smaller and less frequent.

The process of grieving can feel like being bombarded with waves. For a few hours or days you can feel as if you are experiencing a huge wave crashing over you and life feels out of control. As the tumult passes there can be a quieter period as if you are in the trough between waves. Suddenly another wave of grief comes crashing over you and you feel totally overwhelmed again. The period of respite between these waves seems very brief in the early days, and you are wary waiting for the next tumult of emotion to crash over you.

At the beginning of your grieving the waves feel massive and very frequent. Gradually as the days and months pass, you realise that their frequency slows down, and their intensity lessens.  Eventually they become much smaller and less devastating in their effect. You begin to feel more in control of your life again.

So when the deep feelings of sorrow and sadness hit you, try to focus on steadying your breathing by breathing more deeply and more slowly, so that you begin to get your emotions under control.  Remember these harsh, raw feelings do gradually ease with time.